Off the hook 

W

hen my kids were little, I’d sometimes intervene in an altercation to untangle the garbled accusations and deal with each according to the wisdom of an adult in the situation.  Although they might not always have agreed with my discernment of the situation, they would yield to the reality that I had more  power, knowlege and authority to carry out wisdom. Usually, they would forgive the offending party, and apologize for their own part once I’d explained perspective to them.

The ultimate know all ?

This is the basis of forgiveness. We are the children. God is the Father. We do not have the wisdom or authority to carry out what is right according to his perspective. The state, church or governing body often don’t/can’t carry out necessary justice and rightness. We look to Him who sees the heart and the reality in all situations. When we choose to forgive, we are not accepting that the offending party is ‘let off the hook’ but that God, who is all wisdom and truth, has the power, wisdom and capacity to deal with the situation. (James 4:12) Although we need to respond with boundaries appropriately, we entrust the situation to Father God to ‘deal with’.

forgiveness does not change the past but it does enlarge the future.

Paul Boose

Freedom in Forgiveness

It’s important to understand that the act of forgiveness is not a virtual declaration that the actions of the offending party were in any way OK. Neither is it ok to only offer forgiveness when offenses are understandable or comparable to my own. It is recognizing that the one who paid the price to forgive me and give me a clean slate, asks me to hand to him the role of dealing with the one who offended. Ironically when we do this, we are the ones let off the hook of our own creation and we are free to be loving humans again. When the forgiving process is done, we harbour no negative emotions toward the offender…..but that can take time and commitment.

Let God be God

Forgiving is not excusing, justifying, or forgetting an offense. It is simply giving God his job and focusing on yours, which is primarily to keep your heart and manage yourself. Forgiveness will, in time, sever the power of a memory to trigger painful feelings. Forgiveness enables you to make wise choices in situations that may have positioned you to be hurt again; you learn protective boundaries.  Forgiveness is key to excellent relationships with God, self, and others and is a skill and a tool we will have plenty of opportunities to practice if we are willing.

Forgiveness is a decision

Some people are difficult to like/forgive/think the best of. Unfortunately, some of the relationships we need to work well, we didn’t choose, we are related. I struggled with my Father in law. He was often domineering, intrusive, rude and judgemental. After an encounter, Id find myself simmering and prior to an encounter, I’d be ‘running movies’….”.if he says this, I’ll say that” type of thing. When I decided to forgive, it was still hard. I’d pull myself back from the negative predictive movies again and again. I persisted in choosing to forgive and to set my mind on good things about him. In the end, we had a truly loving and respectful relationship; something I would have thought impossible in the beginning.

Apply it, Own it

Let God be God then you can be you.