love hurts on your own 

T

here was a time when I attended a “New Age” camp, the idea being, like with most religions and philosophies that by doing so I’d be somewhat more enlightened and therefore resilient and therefore happy. One of the notions presented that I accepted and that disturbed me was that we could not ‘have’ or ‘need’ anything forever, so best not to attach to anything; to be satisfied alone. To assist with ‘deprogramming’, once one had identified the attachment, we were instructed to stick our head in an empty bucket, and with the strains of a random John Denver song, we declared loudly to the plastic echo wall within “I DON’T NEED ANYONE, I AM ENOUGH, I AM SUFFICIENT”.

“I will never leave you”

It was in one such painful moment of betrayal in a relationship that with head in a bucket and a glorious mixture of cranial emissions dripping therein, that I heard a voice in my heart…..It wasn’t loud but it was very clear. “You can have me, and nothing can ever separate us, I will never leave you.” I knew it was God and I was very excited. Somehow, I knew that I wasn’t enough, I wasn’t sufficient alone and although everything in this world will pass away or fade, at least I could have a relationship that would not.  I could have someone utterly Good, powerful and present to walk the rest of my life with me. That was a mighty ‘ahaa’ moment that has continued to unfold in its meaning to this day. I’ve done, said, thought and been many foolish things since that day, and He keeps walking with me.

 “To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”― C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves

Safer Alone

If you have been betrayed in trust, you tend to trust again slowly. That’s sensible. However, sometimes we make beliefs out of our bad experience that include generalisations, judgements and fear based assumptions. Many people isolate from the very love they need because of negative experiences poorly processed.

Safest in Him

Knowing that God is Good helps me to be assured that if all and everyone else fails me, misunderstands me, abandons me, He won’t. From the baseline of that rock, I’m free to give and receive love and knocks in their various forms from the people with whom I have a relationship. If I know truly that I’m completely loved and accepted by Him, then the opinions and actions of others toward me will have much less impact on me.

Jump!!

The truth of Hebrews 13:5 and 1John 4:10 bouncing around in our heads only will not cut it when the verity of it comes under question from circumstance and unaligned beliefs. Faith is the only way that we can fulfill the ‘Great Command’ Luke 10:27. I see it like when my dad used to tell me to jump off the milk truck into his waiting arms. Could he catch me? Yes. Would he catch me? Probably. Will I take the risk? Yes. If we wait until our mind quits offering us rational objection, we will never step out in faith. Whatever He says, we need to believe with our hearts first, then our minds get understanding and we have a purpose for our strength. We believe not by a weighing of pros and cons, but by accepting the safe place of His Goodness.

Apply it, Own it

We choose whether  or not to recognise that we are never alone.