Defining Overgeneralisaton
Overgeneralisation happens when we take a limited sample, from a limited scope/perspective and make a general belief out of it. Generalising is a helpful process to sort and make sense of the information that is constantly raining on us. We make observations about our workplace on Friday afternoons and say “Fridays are generally low key around here”. Totally fine. It helps us prepare for and anticipate/manage life. However, to announce at a business conference that “Fridays are the cruisiest workdays of all” would have many looking askance…..not the least, your boss.
Examples of Overgeneralisation
You may think that the example above excludes you from this thinking style. How about these examples?
• You are embarking on a project that requires you to learn a new system of documentation. Having been shown twice, you need to seek help again and conclude that you are useless at anything to do with IT.
• An older lady stumbles as she negotiates the stairs while chatting with a friend. She decides she’s too old to take the stairs anymore.
• A man appraises the behaviour of the school children on the train and decides that the younger generation is without respect.
• On two family holidays, a member of the family gets sick. You decide your family is jinxed on holidays and something will always go wrong.
• You were by no means encouraged as you pursued a more intimate relationship with someone, on two occasions and so you conclude that you aren’t attractive to the opposite sex.
• You observe the behaviour of a certain people group in your locality and conclude that all people of that group are of the same ilk.
• You pray and ask for something, and when it didn’t come in the timeframe and manner you expected, you conclude that God doesn’t want to answer your prayers for some reason.
Personal Pride, the enemy of Self-Awareness
Just as you would throw out a study that concluded that cats are better than dogs after consulting with 50 cat owners, you need to be just as ruthless with your internalised beliefs arrived at with such little evidence. Challenging overgeneralisation involves growing in self-awareness as an important part of the process of change. Give the supportive friends and family around you permission to reflect to you when they observe overgeneralisation or any negative thinking style. Personal pride is a huge hindrance to self-awareness, and people will usually not bother to give you feedback unless it’s invited as it may elicit a defensive or punishing response.
Words are a trail finder for thoughts
“Out of the fullness of the heart the mouth speaks,” says Matthew 12:24 If you observe more closely the things that you say, by reflecting frequently, you’ll see what you truly believe. You may mentally assent to something way nobler, but what you believe, which comes from the thoughts you entertain will end up finding it’s way out of your mouth! So when you see it, don’t explain it away as “only joking”, “not really”, “oops”, it’s time to review why you believe it and make the change.
Overgeneralisation Limits
Imagine a wall that is erected each time you voice an overgeneralisation. That truly is what happens in the Spiritual realm; a wall of self-fulfilling prophecy. If your husband or wife neglects to attend something that matters to you a couple of times, choose not to pronounce that they are hopeless at that thing. Don’t talk about their weakness or yours like it’s set in concrete. Align your words with hope. If you find that your children are challenging in the school holidays, don’t align with negative overgeneralisation. Partner with faith-filled positive expectation. If you’ve been discouraged in your journey because of ‘unanswered prayer’, don’t buy the belief that God is not likely to listen or answer your prayer. Or maybe you have attempted something a few times and are now confessing hopelessness about yourself. When you challenge overgeneralisation in yourself you are releasing yourself from unnecessary limits. Discover more practical ways of changing this thinking style in “Apply it, Own it” section
Apply it, Own it
Overgeneralisation is an opt out of appraising each situation and expectation based on little valid evidence. Read 1Corinthians 5:7. How could this effect your expectation?
An alien has popped in to seek your opinion on a few people you know. Write down, brainstorm style, a description of various social contacts. Choose 3 relevant groups; include an intimate relationship, your in-law family, and a colleague, neighbour or people group with whom you feel some negative residual feelings. Challenging overgeneralisation by going back and re-appraising your statements. Always good to be prepared for an alien visit:)
Consider the areas in which you are most prone to overgeneralisation. You may find yourself gracious to some and quite harsh with others. Consider your relationship with God, yourself and others and spend some time identifying the areas that you’ll need to challenge.
If you’ve been indulging overgeneralisation in your relationships, you’ve been inadvertently judging others, you firstly need to turn from that. 3 Rs apply. Ask Holy Spririt to remind you of your choice and empower you to overcome this default.
Global statements make you smaller