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ogic is the primary helpful process in the rational evaluation. Logic evaluates what can be seen or reasonably predicted based on fact. Emotional reasoning evaluates and predicts on the basis of how one feels. Although many men assign this thinking style as feminine, I’ve observed many men using emotional reasoning as a default; it’s a human thing.

Emotional Reasoning vs Logical Reasoning
Let’s take the scenario of a person’s expectation of “Christmas with the in-laws”. This is a fun topic as it seems to enlist the emotions of most people one way or another. The person who is moved by logic may think “last year I observed:
• My kids were bored and didn’t behave well.
• My Spouse was exhausted and cranky.
• Our budget blew out by $400
• My In-law used passive-aggressive tactics to disapprove of my behaviour
• I ate and drank too much.
So, next year lets try
• Meeting somewhere where there’s a park for the kids, so we don’t have to do all the food and cleaning that we both found too stressful.
• Take a weekender together just prior to Christmas to rest up.
• Change the gift process and keep the food/drink casual, to keep to budget.
• Practice not reacting to my inlaw; their attitude is not my business.
• Have the gathering at breakfast so that we don’t overdo it with food/drink.”
The same scenario with the person who defaults to emotional reasoning could look like.
• “I feel like everyone in the family hates my kids because they weren’t their best at Christmas. Who is? It’s not fair.
• I feel guilty because my spouse was so exhausted, it felt like they were angry with me all the time, but I don’t know why, and I hate feeling guilty!
• I’m dreading seeing my inlaw because they clearly hate me.
• I feel under pressure to do ‘the right thing’ and it feels unattainable.
So, from now on, I don’t ever want to spend Christmas with my in-laws. “

Can you remember a time when you were dating someone and it ‘felt’ like ‘love’ but maybe wasn’t? How many foolish relationship commitments are made because of feelings, and conversely, how quickly do people pull out of relationship commitments because of emotional reasoning?

Dealing with emotional reasoning with Spiritual tools.

So what if there’s a way to rationalise that is even better than logic? That’s the sort of thinking that is encouraged in 2Corinthians 10:4-5.
• We consider that dealing with the issue of unaligned thinking is to be addressed with Spiritual tools first, then psychological tools. We acknowledge that there is an enemy of our minds who attacks at a Spiritual level.
• Having dealt with the thinking at this level, we then follow up, observing and ensuring that our thoughts remain in line with the Truth; which will be for us, according to our knowledge of God.
Given the same scenario as outlined above, the Christian would perhaps choose to
• Pray seeking wisdom and listen to the perspective from Holy Spirit on what went on last Christmas.
• Forgive the inlaws for judgement and repent of any harsh reaction to them.
• Challenge the children appropriately for unacceptable behaviour, empathising with the difficult situation and follow up on issues that needed training.
• Demolish strongholds or any Spiritual force identified in prayer.(see Apply it, Own it for more on this.)
• Pray for specific outcomes desired in next years Christmas event.
• Expect a better Christmas next year.
There is nothing wrong with being rational at all, one can certainly utilise these tools to gradually change emotional reasoning but do you see that its power can only extend to what is observable and discernible at a sensory level. Using Spiritual tools empowers one to employ rationale at a heightened level, and to put trust in God rather than our intellectual and emotional evolution.

Apply it, Own it

Read

Read 2 Corinthians 10:1-5  two or three times, slowly and perhaps in a couple of different versions. Is there anything that speaks to you from these verses?

Journal

Journal some of the relationship challenges that have been yours recently. How have you responded to those challenges?  Has emotional reasoning or other negative thinking styles hijacked your process? Has rational thinking been insufficient to bring transformation in your life or the lives of others?

Read

Dig around in the bible to find out what the ” spiritual weapons and armour” is. Read as an appetiser. Ephesians6:13-18; the story of Jehoshaphat’s fight in 2Chronicles 20; Philippians 1&2 give us another group of weapons. Identify these and write them down. Consider the shift of responsibility from us, to God, when we use Spiritual Tools as he’s prescribed. That is a huge relief! Had you missed the Power Character tools Paul mentioned in 2Corinthians 10:1? Try dealing with your enemy in gentleness and humility! Superpowers against your human nature and theirs. Haha.

Consider

Consider verse 2Corinthians 10:4. We do not fight with weapons of this world because they don’t have divine power to deal with strongholds…and that’s what we are up against in our own mindsets and in the mindsets of others. Verse 5 breaks it down even more, showing that which must be completely destroyed and that which will then need to be constantly realigned. Consider how effective your battles have been using your “worlds tools”. Have you seen transformation? That’s our goal.

Prayer

Ask Holy Spirit to show you what the strongholds are you are up against and what weapons to use to deal with them. Deal with them accordingly after you have ensured that you have your armour on and have forgiven and repented for your part in perpetuating the problem. Then its a matter of enforcing the reality by bringing your thoughts into alignment with God’s truth on the matter. Ask Him to help you see it when you entertain thoughts that partner with emotional reasoning and realign them with the truth.

Living with emotional reasoning is like living near a volcano: shaky ground at the best of times, eruption and desolation follow.

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