Rebound from Jumping to conclusions:#5 Negative Thinking Styles 

T

he conclusion of any scientifically credible essay summarises all that has been written; all the data analyzed and all the pros and cons of the hypothesis tested. When we jump to conclusions, it’s like we write the end before we’ve even glanced at any evidence.

Here are some jumping to conclusions examples;-

1 Fortune telling
This is where you predict a negative outcome in a circumstance, despite your best effort.
Examples of fortune telling are:-
• You expect to perform poorly in a test despite having studied and practiced.
• You expect a disaster to unfold on a special day you’ve been planning.
• You expect your children will “go bad”.
• You expect the car or some important appliance will break down.
• You expect not to achieve your realistic goals of fitness, weight loss, lifestyle change.
2 Mind Reading
This is negative assumptions and predictions in relationships, despite your best effort.
Examples of mind-reading are:-
• You expect not to be liked by your partner’s parents
• You expect that a delayed response from a friend means they are offended by you.
• You assume that clients will think you’re too expensive, or that a client won’t pay or that a client will give you hassle.
• You assume that people will judge you because of your looks and that will cause you to be passed over in life.
• You assume that absence of comment means a negative judgement from another.
• You assume that the well-dressed person is a ‘snob’ and will think you are a ‘bogan’

It’s fairly obvious I guess that the person who suffers most in these scenarios, is the one who is jumping to conclusions. We torture ourselves, ruminating on the misery of the situation and feeling helpless. This leads to a cesspool of sniveling joy crushers like self-pity, blame, judgement, anxiety, shame. The overarching, disabling negative feeling being helplessness. You feel as though despite your best effort, it’s going to go wrong.

It’s natural to try and make sense of situations and relationships and the lure of ‘squaring it away” rewards jumping to conclusions. How much of the dissension in workplaces and community groups and families, come from this negative thinking style? The short-term reward of ‘managing a situation’ will not compare with the fallout of jumping to conclusions.

How to help a person who jumps to conclusions
It’s also really tricky to be in relationship with someone who defaults to jumping to conclusions. Firstly the fortune teller carries a helplessness that begs a rescue. Don’t do it. Help a fortune teller by gently helping them challenge the basis of their conclusion. Don’t ridicule their process, kindly unfold some questions that could provide some challenge. It’s always best if a person discovers their own cognitive anomalies.
Spurious Assumptions
Helping a Mind Reader requires a little teasing out of the rationale behind the assumption. Once again refrain from stepping in and rescuing the helpless. Instead, asking questions and reflecting to the mind reader what they said, helps them to perceive that although their conclusion felt true it was based on a spurious assumption.
“So when you talked to your boss about taking leave he didn’t look up from his desk or even acknowledge you, so you think you will be refused leave because his lack of response necessarily meant that the answer was no?” “hmmm, so I’m wondering if it’s possible that he was so distracted that he didn’t really hear you?”
Ask “what now” not “why”
When the people nearest and dearest to you use jumping to conclusions as a default it can be exhausting. The book of Job in the bible has 42 chapters. This book is the story of how a good man’s household was destroyed and he was covered in boils. His well-meaning friends gather to console and commiserate, but it’s not long before they are problem-solving, trying to fish for the real reason that “God has punished him”. Instead of accepting and asking “what now?” they are looking for the “why?”. This question is rarely helpful in the moment. From chapter 3 until chapter 38, Job and his friends jump to conclusions and Job tries to defend himself from his friend’s judgement. Then God steps in and reframes how they see things, because he reveals himself and his truth in the situation.

God cops the brunt
Ever consider how much dumb stuff is believed about God because people jump to conclusions?
• “The world is full of poverty and evil. If there was a God who loved people, he would do something about it.”
• “I am still doing stuff that I know I shouldn’t, so God would find me unacceptable.”
• “I’m not getting the breakthrough I’ve prayed for, God must be looking for a better effort from me.”
• “I’ve stuffed this up before, God’s a bit ‘over’ hearing me ask for help I think.”
• “He is so disappointed with me and I don’t blame him.”
• “This is going to go badly, I’m just not good enough.”

Spiritual tools
As much as it’s helpful to use psychological tools to help us change, we become transformed as Christians, by utilizing spiritual tools. In the story of Job, it wasn’t until God revealed himself and his truth, that Job and his friends were able to see their folly. The revelation of the person of God and his Truth remains the most powerful tool of transformation in hearts. We ask better questions and search in helpful places if seeking Him and truth is our goal.

Apply it, Own it

Jumping to conclusions ends with a splat