How to get over being ‘over it’

“I’m over it!” I hear it often and have said it a few times myself. Sick and tired of being sick and tired? Wearied by work unappreciated? A boss who put you down? A partner who only sees the weakness in you? Children, who act like leeches? In-laws, who interfere? Or all of the above!!

Life’s tough

There’s no denying it, some life circumstances are difficult, and seem very hard to endure with an attitude of faith and generosity of heart. Even the things that we hear people categorize as “first world problems”, are still a difficult trial. Let’s not minimize that these seemingly small things seem to conspire in groups of 5 or more to bring us down! They allure us into the ‘over it’ confession if we aren’t really careful. John 16:33 encourages us to accept the reality that we will have trials and troubles but that Jesus has already overcome them so that we can have peace.

I’m Over it

What it really means is “I’ve tried really hard for what seems like a long time, keeping  a good attitude and doing my best and yet the problem remains, I give up.” This is an understandable and rational and completely unhelpful conclusion! Let’s break it down and find a better response.

God’s all over it

Remember when you are over it, God’s all over it! Do you think it took him by surprise that you found yourself in this place? Could it be part of his plan for all the parties involved? Is it possible that the Romans 8:28 principle is at work here? He absolutely has a plan for goodness in the situation you’re are in; settle that in your heart. Remember Jesus promises peace in troubles in John 16:33

 

Breaking it down

“I’ve tried really hard for a long time.” It’s funny how we all have an internal measure of how hard we reckon things should be. We, humans, are willing to work hard to that point and then the temptation to feel sorry for ourselves kicks in. The problem is that so many of our friends have a similar calibration to their measure and they join the pity party when consulted. Galatians 6:9 gives us God’s perspective. He says “stop it”! Persevere if you want to see the crop for all your hard work.

2P (tickets apply)

“keeping a good attitude”…..so somehow, at the time our wee heads tell us is the fullness of time, we justify having a negative attitude because…….well, we feel “over it”. One mantra my kids would ruefully remember is-  Q. “When is it ok to have a bad attitude?” A. “never”. It is completely understandable to process negative things in our journey, it is not ok to park in the negative. Consider parking in a negative like parking in a 2 hour bay in the city. It’s going to cost considerably to park there even for a short time. It will be a fine that keeps hurting if you neglect to move on. Consider Proverbs 15:15. I believe it says that even when we are oppressed and the rotten stuff keeps happening, we can keep our joy and peace and thereby live a life blessed in the affliction.

Whatever you sow, grows

“Doing my best and nothing has changed” Something in the human condition leads us easily to offense and being ‘over it’ if we’ve been doing our best and the circumstances don’t change or our ‘best’ is not appreciated. Firstly, remember that whatever you sow grows. If your best has included sowing good seed faithfully into good ground, then hang in there. When it looks like nothing has changed, stuff is happening in the unseen world just as a seed develops and grows underground.

Consider your ways

Secondly, maybe you’ve been sowing impotent seed, or diseased seed, or into poor ground in which case you’ve been deluded to think that positive change should be imminent. Haggai 1:6-7 says essentially…..don’t blame God if you find yourself in a difficult spot. Reflect on what you’ve sown and remember to honour him. This is not to lead to self- condemnation or shame, but a fair appraisal that will lead to a change. Please note that I am not saying that difficult circumstances are all our own doing but our response to difficulty is what will bring a harvest of whatever we sow. You can park in ‘over it’ or partner with ‘all over it’ with God.

Your effort is noticed

Thirdly, just as you have not appreciated all the good stuff done for you and your family, community, state, country, and the world, others won’t appreciate all you’ve done for them, but God is keeping the scorecard. He says in Matthew 25:40 that whatever we do for another, we’ve done for him and similarly, whatever we’ve neglected to do, we’ve neglected him. Also, we are reminded that the materials we use will be seen for what they are on the day we stand before God to be judged for our time on earth. 1Corinthians 3:12.  This is in itself a really good motivation for keeping a good conscience and not justifying a cop out.

‘Over it’ can birth change

Sometimes the frustration we feel in the situation can be used to really focus on what we can do and be differently, to get a different outcome. My son was ‘over it’ by the time he finished his gap year. ‘Over’ working hard and being paid poorly. ‘Over’ being treated unfairly by unprofessional managers. This was a good inspiration to do what he needed to do at Uni to gain a profession and a different outcome.

Give up in the circumstance and give up on the good crop

“I give up.” I can’t count the number of times I’ve heard another person tell their story to justify bailing on perseverance in difficulty. Here’s a story of a mother and child who didn’t. https://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/health/health-problems/24-kids-died-i-was-the-only-one-who-survived/news-story/e7e1addce8a12db4f7ab709194e2a71e

You may fool others and yourself when you bail, but you won’t fool God. He says “Don’t be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows.” Galatians 6:7 Hang in there because you will reap good stuff if you persevere. When I say persevere, I don’t mean to necessarily stay in the negative surrounds. No, do what you can to elicit change but focus on the good response, not the one you feel tempted to do.

“I’m over being over it”

That’s the confession that will bring you into a better place both in your character and circumstances. Remember that even if it doesn’t seem like your circumstances have changed, they may well be doing their underground season at the moment. Maybe the crop will come in many days or years, but it will come. Also remember that even if you don’t see the crop change, like the Heros of faith in Hebrews 11, you can see your character and faith grow in adversity which in itself is a wonderful blessing.

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Apply it, Own it

Read

Read Matthew 25:31-46.

Journal

Using the reading from Matthew, journal the people you have demonstrated love toward in the last week. Include your children, partner, yourself and all the ‘small acts’ like a smile. Take your time and ask Holy Spirit to help you.

Consider

Having written your list, consider the reality that you have loved Jesus when you loved all those people. Sit with each individual action, thought or word.

for example. “When I wiped Jason’s nose, I was serving Jesus”

What does this do to the ‘meaninglessness’ of your life of love?

Consider

How many of you expected to be asked to journal the negative or neglectful things you’d done or hadn’t done in a similar way? Would you have been more comfortable feeling bad about what you’d neglected than encouraged for what you’d done?

Prayer

What areas have you felt “over it” lately? Ask Holy Spirit to help you overcome in that area. Use the blog to cover each area you need to make changes in. Let me know how you go!

Everyone dies but not everyone lives. Popularized by Prince