N ot everyones cup of tea, but I must confess always having had a fascination for discovering the influences of birth order on my relationships, how early childhood experiences frame my worldview and how my lifestyle and relationship choices impact my sense of self. I enjoy all manner of self discovery courses. However, as interesting as these things are, they are not the final say on who I am.
The trouble with basing my identity perception on my strengths and weaknesses is that I’ll either be somewhat self-righteous as I overvalue my strengths or somewhat self-deprecating as I focus on my weaknesses. These ‘self-discovery’ insights are helpful only in providing us with a starting place from which to be changed.
Firm Foundations
As we spoke of in the last post, we need to see ourselves as God sees us to build a firm foundation for identity. This then provides a stable platform on which to relate. To do that necessarily means that we pursue knowing Him as part of our primary purpose (Eph 1:17) As I do this, Holy Spirit enables me to upgrade my understanding and working knowledge of who he is. This empowers our Faith, Everything He is, in character, He has promised to make available to his Children as we stay ‘plugged in’ to our relationship with Him. (James 1;2-5) We call it the “fruit of the Holy Spirit”. I ask him to empower me to be like him in an area I’m recognising in Him, and he imparts the capacity to be that character and walks me through it.
Compassion reframed
For example, some time ago, He showed me that although I’d been talking about my lack of compassion with mirth (I’m not the lady who picks up stray cats) that He had said that because I’m His daughter, I have His ‘DNA,’ which includes Compassion. He showed me that Compassion looked different in me than my small notion of ‘kitten saviours’. He encouraged me to develop that aspect of who I am in Him. (Galatians 5:22-23) So instead of dismissing Compassion from my portfolio, I began to open up to retraining and possibility in this area. His Compassion in me reaches past the persona a person presents, and into the identity, I see in Him. Thereby, I encourage people.
His Characteristics
Make no mistake in thinking that His Characteristics are similar to what this world attributes to the same word. Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Gentleness, Goodness, Self-control, Faith and Humility are a formidable force. Nothing can top them. This is very good to know in the minefield relationships can be at times. These Forces can’t fail. The natural human variations of these Characteristics often fail and leave people hopeless and helpless.
Making it our practice to apply God-given Character to our relationships accelerates a positive shift in ourselves and often in others. We cannot control how another person feels about us or responds to us, but when we choose to apply His Character, we have the accompanying peace, no matter what the ‘outcome’.
I mentioned the content of this in following post
Apply it, Own it
Matthew 7:7 teaches us to ask, seek and knock with expectancy. How many questions go unanswered and doors closed because we don’t? How about this area? Ever asked him about your identity? He made you with purpose on purpose.
Write a heart felt identity description of yourself. If it’s not good, exciting, inspiring and generous then you need an upgrade. Perhaps you could ask Him to show you more good stuff. Hint: your identity is not based on what you’ve done or your various personas, its who he plans for you to be in this world.
What aspect of Father God’s character do you need? Hint: It will probably look like the opposite of your weakness. Ask him for an exchange. That’s his nature. Isaiah 61:3
We choose fun, gratification, ego or character as our personal building blocks. And what we are reveals which we chose.